This I Believe

Hard days, people. Hard times. We need some hope. We’re lost, folks. We make it most days, but some days we don’t. I can deal with some things but some things overcome me. I’m tired of saying goodbyes and of always letting go instead of getting to hold on once or twice.

But as honest as I can get, I lean back on my faith. A lot of people believe a lot of different things and some of you are gonna think I’m nuts. That’s all right, though, cause I secretly think some of you are nuts, too.

What do you believe, Reed? What does this life mean to you? How do you make it through tomorrow? Why do you pray? What’s the point? How are you going to make it through all of this stuff and come out clean on the other side? Can you tell me that? Can you tell me what all of this philosophizing boils down to for you?

I can. All that I believe about hope and life comes down to this . . .

In all things,
God will make a way,
Love will find it for you,
& Faith will walk you through it.

Yes, it sounds like a fortune cookie, but it’s as honest as I get. And it’s all I got right now.

Beneath This Me

I love superhero stories because I wish I was one.

I’d love to believe that underneath what everybody sees, there is something truly spectacular. That I had the power to save them. Or at least the power to help. — But I don’t have that power. And I’m not a hero. I’m a man.

The same man who occasionally knows just what to say or just how to act is the same guy who can lose his temper and act selfishly. The same guy who you can trust to love you and who you can depend on for support is the same man who can misunderstand you and speak with absolutely ridiculous ignorance. The same person who walks in and by faith and exhibits a sincere passion for God and Christ is the same person who will embarass his testimony and abuse his grace.

The good is as much within me as the bad. And the faults are as abundant as the merits. They are all a part of who I am. There are times in my life when I am at peace with who I am and what I’ve done. There are other times when there are things I simply wish weren’t there. And I wrestle with the guilt and I reach out for the love and I hope for the mercy.

But tonight, I ask a question. –
I have seen how naked I am. My eyes were opened and I’m ashamed. I’ve hidden in the bushes because I didn’t know what else to do. I retreat there with the snake when faced with the parts of me I’m embarassed by.

But my question is this . . . when God made this world — when He made me — and called it all “good,” . . . was I not naked then?

Just askin’.

And He Saw That It Was Good

Its an unanswerable question, both because there are those who don’t even believe in God and because those who do can never possibly know their creator’s mind. But the question remains in my mind at least.

Did God know what we would become when he spun the world into existence? Did he know about all those wars and all the hatred and all the love and the courage and that’s beautiful and ugly about everything? Or was He too on some sort of great, mysterious journey, wondering what to make of what He had made?

As I said, it’s a question that can’t be answered, but I take a mild comfort in a simple, obvious fact. We are still here.

Two recent truths have been pointed out to me. The first is that this life was not meant to be survived, but experienced. I agree with that, however much pain it may bring us to realize it. Also, that we are slaves to our instincts & impulses, which we can only free ourselves from by becoming slaves to a moral or societal conduct code, which goes to show you that no one can ever truly be free. I think this is also sad but true, and has caused me much frustration recently as I work towards trying to decide whether to follow my instincts or my conscious (my body or my mind).

I like the account of creation in the Bible. People get too caught up in arguing over its factuality and miss its beauty. There is a profound poetry in the repeated refrain — “And God saw that it was good.” This vast array of creations, from the earth’s very structure to the limitless varieties of beings that inhabit it. A kaleidoscope of varying patterns and rituals, each unique and all specific, all comprising a single mass of creation called the Earth. And God saw that it was good.

Then there’s man, certainly the most complex of all of this world’s creatures. Man is the single most creative and destructive being on our planet. We can be so evil and viscious, and there are almost as many stories of nearly divine forgiveness and courage. Maybe it balances itself out in the end or maybe the struggle was the intention all along.

Either way, I take comfort in the fact that whether or not we are what we were intended to be, we are still around. If God saw all these things from the beginning, there was obviously something in us that made us creation-worthy anyway and if He in fact did not know what He was getting into, at least we can know that we aren’t beyond redemption because that last bomb hasn’t gone off yet.

I guess I’m just looking to still have faith in people. Rod Serling once said that he believed in God, but he believed in man more. Because, as he put it, “If we don’t believe in ourselves, we will never obtain the greatness within our potential.” Ditto that.